Forgiving Someone Else
That pain that was caused is real and you have EVERY right to hang on to that backpack of pain, shame, and blame. I won't take it from you. But how is that working out for you?
<offender>_ injured me by _<injustice>_.
As a result, I experienced _<damage>_ and __<consequences>__.
I have held this debt long enough.
I do not condone or excuse what they did – it was wrong and I was wronged.
I choose to release this debt.
<offender> doesn’t owe me anymore. I COMPLETELY release <offender>’s debt.
I forgive them completely.
Definition: Forgiveness is a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve it. NOTE: Regardless of whether they actually deserve it!
But many of us would rather fight to stay in pain -- than surrender to be healed. But forgiving, letting God have it, and surrendering it can provide peace…..and freedom. So we hang on with this fight.
Defeating the wrong-doer is our currency. We MUST prove that we were right and they were wrong! We put on our mask that all is good while we really know inside that anger, resentment, need for a payback to “make this right” is chewing away at us.
You were a victim. But…
Victims are powerless.
Victims have no control over their lives.
Victims are at the mercy of others. They are passengers in the game of life.
Victims can only react.
Victims are prisoners.
A victim has an excuse. A victim can excuse just about any kind of behavior.
You were a victim. You don't have to be a victim now.
Click "ASSISTANCE" to learn more how to forgive.
Did you know there is actually a science of forgiveness? Literally thousands of studies have been made on what works, what doesn't and the benefits of forgiving?
There are 3 levels of forgiveness:
Each level has increasing benefits. Think of it this way:
You have a room in your home that is full of pain & blame. If you decide to clean it out so the garbage is gone, that's a good thing and it feels great. That is decisional forgiveness - it is all in the head.
If you then fill the room of with good things and turn that bad room into something good, that is emotional forgiveness - it is in the head, heart, emotions, and positive reactions to triggers that formerly hurt.
If you can go into this room and feel, thanks to God's redemption and your complete righteousness in Him, that all is made right and the wrongs done to you are not just forgiven, they is the remittance of the wrong, that is spiritual forgiveness - it is in the head, heart, emotions, soul, and the complete release of the wrong-doer.