I recall the beginning of my journey to freedom, even while eating out of dumpsters or soup lines during those beach-bumming days homeless in California. Looking back, I realize that all I ever wanted was freedom from the chaos, freedom from the violence, anger, and abuse. But this freedom was never a reality, so long as I refused to release my abusers. By refusing to forgive, I was carrying my inner chaos wherever I went. I was never without it, which is why I often avoided